Thursday, April 29, 2010
Okay, I think this is funny. You can laugh at me after seeing this if you want, HAHA
Today was really a frustrating day, ever since I chose my 3rd year option, I knew it was going to be a tough battle ahead, a treacherous road to walk. The first week went really well but coming to the end of the second week, I really felt very frustrated. The amount of drawings we need to hand in per week, the things we need to do every week, it is scary. I have to admit I am afraid of what's coming up ahead.
I started with alot of fire inside me but now, I am afraid. I am starting to regret my decision but then again, is it a time to regret what I chose? I don't dodge a battle but I am somebody who cannot find any passion and motivation in doing things that I am not interested in.
Nobody can deny that I have been more hardworking this semester but I am afraid I just cannot sustain it anymore. Circumstances around me are just not going my way and I am downhearted by that.
But, It's okay, I believe that I will pull through this difficult period. It's fantastic to see people around me giving me encouragement and they actually knew what I can do. I just need the support from others to keep me going.
Labels: Keep going
8:45 AM
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
This is really funny to me AT LEAST. HAHAWell, if you read the papers and follow the news closely, you will really wonder why students are taking their lives so easily. Secondary students, tertiary students, university students and as long as they are students, they have a chance of commiting suicide. There was another suicide case this morning at AMK where the victim jumped from the 25th storey.
Failure to handle stress, relationship problems, family problems, victim of bullying and any problems we students faced. Are these reasons good enough for us to take the plunge?
It's really disappointing and to a certain extent scary. Every few weeks or so, you will read about a person who is about the same age as me committing suicide.
I would say we probably have to blame it partly on our education system. We grow up with our parents telling us "IF YOU DON'T STUDY, NEXT TIME YOU WILL SWEEP FLOOR!" Then you go to school and these nerds and geeks start to taunt you, "EEEE YOUR RESULTS SO LOUSY, NEXT TIME YOU SWEEP FLOOR LA!" If that's not enough, your teachers will start to jump on you. We have seen how competition in studies have broken friendships apart and they have certainly turned us into a hierarchy. However, in actual world, is it true that people without qualifications cannot survive in the future? After speaking to so many people in the workforce, I realised you will have a way out somehow.
Talking about love, I think it is stupid to commit suicide over it AT THIS AGE. At 19 or 20, what the fuck do you know? Yes, we may feel that we cannot survive without this person or whatever but that is because we have not or rather we refused to meet somebody better. It's amazing to see how teenagers chose to disappoint their parents instead of giving up on their "love".
In any case, RIP
7:13 AM
Thursday, April 22, 2010
We looked so young and adorable when we were still teenagers. HAHAFor the record, I've fully attended all my classes for this week and it's the first ever time I've done so in my entire Poly life. To some, it was a norm but to me it was an exceptional achievement.
For the record, I've paid 99% attention in a Construction Technology class for the first ever time in my entire Poly life. All thanks to Balbir Singh! What an intimidating man!
I spent 2 freaking hours looking for my facilitator today. I walked all over the school under a sweltering heat of 35degrees celsius and with my super duper heavy laptop to look for him. I think I sweated away 5kg during that time. In the past, I would just tell myself FUCK IT and I would have went home but not today. Frustration almost got the better of me but I thought otherwise in the end.
I have a new philosophy in life and that is to sacrifice. I will sacrifice anything and anybody to get what I want. It's time for me to make decisions like an adult, it's time for me to grow up and be like an adult. In this phase, there will be people who will play an important part in my life. All I hope is that these people can be more intelligent and stop posing me with stupid questions. It can get really really frustrating.
People have been coming up and telling me "You can do it!" It just gives me that extra adrenaline rush and encouragement to keep me believing and to move on with life.
So I will also tell those who think they can't do it that "YOU CAN DO IT!" as well.
I am wondering if i am just fooling myself or maybe there's really something...
Labels: YOU CAN DO IT
10:15 AM
Friday, April 16, 2010
Today was a unbelievable, happy and cracking day. I can hardly find any superlatives to describe what happened today.
My attachment have ended as of today. I feel a kind of sadness in me or rather, a reluctance to leave. It's an irony as anyone who knows me well will know that I absoutely hate attachment to the core.
I've gotten a grade which I thought I totally did not deserve and like what my friend said, the company actually paid us to let us learn.
To be honest, i was feeling very very emotional when everything have ended. New friendships were made and some I will cherish much. I was feeling so touched for everything they had done and prepared for us.
Which GM will interact with his ITP students so much like ours? Whatever opinions he had of me was absoutely spot on. The encouragement he gave me was so precious because the belief he had in me was much needed. I was shocked but I was glad because I always know somebody out there will know who am I and what am I about. I always believed in myself and these are the encouragements that will keep me going strong in my ambition.
At the end of the day, the ones who don't deserve anything got their deserts. They say life is unfair but I would say life is funny. You wore a mask for 6 weeks and tried so hard to make sure it don't drop but in the end, others already knew who you are. Being rude and dumb is a thing but being unable to accept the useful criticism of others simply shows how nincompoop you are.
So, school is lurking and after this amazing experience, I have grown as an adult and I am armed even better for the battles ahead.
Labels: THANK YOU
8:47 AM
Thursday, April 15, 2010
I just don't like the feelings of being bossed around and I don't understand why some woman want to turn a workplace upside down and into an unhappy place. It only depicts plain stupidity.
Technically speaking, just 1 day of ITP left and I can only say I am very fortunate. I learnt so much and although I will not get a fantastic grade, I will still leave with new friendships which I very much appreciate and new priceless advices and knowledge.
I enjoyed myself last night even though it drained almost every bit of my energy left. I am sleeping less than 24hrs a week! Making new friends is a kind of happiness as well.
School is just round the corner and suddenly I feel like staying for another 6 weeks of ITP.
Got to post this before everyone forgets about it. Congratulations Mandy once again and wish you have a blissful life ahead.
Labels: All things are difficult before they are easy.
7:07 AM
Friday, April 9, 2010
A meal prepared by my superiors at my workplace.
Tell me, how many of your superiors cook up a meal for you during attachment? This is not the only time. I can only say I am very very lucky.
5 weeks down and just 1 left. It is such an irony that I am starting to miss this place knowing that I am going to leave soon. Being in a workplace like this allows me to see the way human behaves. Kindness, hypocrisy, unreasonable and intelligence are the norm. Everytime I get to talk to different people and everytime I learnt something different. Talking and listening are great virtues.
Come to think of it, It is another great blessing in disguise for me again. Everytime I receive a setback, I will gain something much better in return.
There were countless times in my life that I have received insults, criticisms and suffered indignity. To be honest, I have always chose to swallow it. I always believed that one of these days, I will be able to prove everyone wrong. I have absolute confidence in myself.
Humans are selfish in nature and if they have a piece of meat, they will tend not to share it with you. I will look for greener pastures and somehow, I can feel it coming.
7:49 AM
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Finally met up with some of my classmates over the Good Friday holidays amidst some disappointment. It was nice to finally to be able to meet them up but it was also me who had to do some non stop talking.
Cafe Cartel was okay but the portions were too small in my opinion. I like the sauce and it actually resembles the sauce you take with your peking duck.
Headed to Andersens for some ice cream afterwards before we made our way home.
Sadly, that was the only highlight of this seemingly long weekends. For me, i have been just working, sleeping, working, sleeping. It's the same routine over and over again and i am so so sick and tired of it. I really need a breather but it is just 2 weeks more before I revert back to school life which is going to be another tough battle.
Sometimes, It's just so frustrating staying at home not knowing what to do.
4:37 AM