Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Day 6 of World Cup have just ended and it has certainly taken its toll on me. I am absoutely tired and I looked like a panda with my dark eye-rings growing rapidly. Here I am again not being able to sleep at 6am despite being so tired.
I was feeling rather happy for the past few days and so far, you could say that I've enjoyed my holidays. Meeting up with different friends, played many rounds of mahjongs, spending nights together watching soccer , caught a movie and so on and so on. I felt it was time to bring myself back down to earth.
I started to realise some things and that has brought my confidence down crashing to earth. Once again, I failed in many aspects that i could and should do better. It is a kind of situation where I am unsure whether to pull my hair out in frustration or laugh at my own guts. You gave me that virtual pat on the back and yet I failed. The only consolation I can get is that probably I never had any kind of confidence in these situations.
Frederick does not waste any time on anything or anybody that he is not interested about. The only thing that he still does is his studies as he have absoutely no choice! Once again, things that happened around me have proven this again. Anything that catches my interest, I will give 101%. I tried to think that maybe afterall, I've been fooling myself to make myself happy/self content but as days go by, no, I really don't think so. Trust me, i am dead serious.
As serious as I could be, I do not have a clue on what to do or rather what can i do next. It's the kind of feeling which reads "helpless." I hate to feel helpless and all I could do is to keep guessing and anticipate.
I am definitely better than others out there and I know it but very unfortunately, I am not able to show it and probably people will choose not to acknowledge it because of what i am.
There are some things which is inappropiate to mention here so probably that could cause some degree of confusion for readers who actually bothered to read through my entire post.
It's okay because i realised people nowadays look at the pictures that I uploaded and browsed through a little of what i wrote and that's it! hahahaha
3:44 PM